when the light hurts

a couple days ago i had my eyes checked to see if i could get lasik surgery done, the good news is that i am a good candidate and in a month or so i should have a surgery date, i guess the only down side is that i got my eyes dilated, they gave me some sun glasses that go under my prescription glasses so i can drive and be outside.  one day later i am still sensitive to the light, it hurts and gives me headaches.  i have the day off so i’ve just been spending most of my time inside.

this is a lot tike my christian life.  there are times when God shines his light on me and it makes me feel uncomfortable.  God’s light shines on me when He wants me to do something or go somewhere, when He wants me to stop doing something or give something up.  but my normal reaction is to stay in places where the light doesn’t bother me, places like church, ministries, even fasting and prayer.  what is that, church, ministries, fasting, and prayer can be a hiding place from God?  for so many christians in the west these things have become a thing of complacence, we go to church, are faithful to teith, teach sunday school, pray before we eat, and even fast from time to time.  Jesus talked about the pharisees and how they did all of these things to, but they were doing for them selves to make them feel righteous Jesus called them out “you whitewashed tombs” he says looking good on the out side and full of rot on the inside.  those were people who were hiding from God at church just like i do.

i’ve been trying to seek the light, and to seek Jesus’ will for my life, last night i was praying and it felt like a voice told me to “pray for kate to have a vision of where we should be” and that was kinda weird because i’m the man, i’m suppose to have the vision right?  well i did and i prayed that what ever vision kate had i wouldn’t fight it.  so with out me asking her kate tells me last night she doesn’t think that i should be in the air force and that we should live in missouri.  no a little back ground on missouri, it is where i grew up and where kate and i got married.  kate and i helped out in the youth program there in my home town before i joined the air force and when we were there a few weeks ago the old youth minister said that he and his wife were retiring.  last time i was at my dads house he told me i could have a piece of land on the family farm to build a house on.  and every time we go back there it just seams like we have such peace.  so i told God i would fight Him on this so i’m going to put in a application to palace chase out of the air force and leave it up to him.